A Healthy Checkup for Your Relationship

I had an interesting thought the other day as I scheduled my annual check-up at the doctor's office: if we regularly go to the doctor to remain healthy, and we regularly go to the dentist to maintain good oral hygiene, then why not regularly check in on your marriage to be sure of its good health? As a therapist, I'm sure I'm coming off as a shameless self-promoter, but I assure you I'm not. There is now scientific proof that having an annual relationship checkup is an important factor in a healthy marriage.

In a two year National Institute of Health study, psychologist James Cordova followed 68 couples, who varied in age, for six months. On average the couples had been together for 15 years; the men were 47 and the women were 44. Half of the married couples were given marriage checkups including a consultation with a marital therapist once a year, the other half of the couples received no therapy at all. Cordova found that the couples who participated in the two-session checkup intervention (which included completing a battery of questions and face-to-face assessment), fared significantly better. Four major areas of relationships were measured -- co-parenting issues, sexual relationship, intimacy and the level of commitment towards each other.

So now there is proof -- couples who actively monitor their relationship have greater marital satisfaction. Relationships are a living, breathing organism that needs care and maintenance. Begin the conversation about evaluating your relationship with your partner and see where it leads. Marital assessment inventories like Prepare/Enrich allow couples to get an objective look at their relationship and identify the areas that need attention. If questions or concerns arise as you review your responses, consulting a marital therapist who can serve as your coach for a session or two may be a worthwhile investment. Keep that in mind next time you make your doctor's appointment.

Does your relationship need a checkup?